Tag: self-esteem

  • Are You a Transactional or Informative Communicator?

    Are You a Transactional or Informative Communicator?

     

    Are you a transactional or informative communicator?

    Understanding your communication style will go a long way to up leveling your leadership potential. This will help you start the new year strong. I’m going to share more insights of how to up level your leadership style as we head into the end of the year.  So tell me, are you a transactional communicator or an informative communicator? Each one gives great insight into the amount of commitment you show to the situations around you. And it all depends on how you use each one of these styles.

    A Transactional Communicator is Passive

    As a transactional communicator, you have a willingness to share a certain level of information to get the work done. You may be working on a specific project for a supervisor or client. You’re fully aware that your responsibility is to just share information as it comes through to you. A transactional communicator knows their role and is perfectly fine with sharing the information requested. This is a form of passive communication.

    An Informative Communicator is Active

    If you are an informative communicator, then you will share the information requested. You are also willing to share additional insights that you feel might be valuable to make an informed decision. An informative communicator knows that their role is to collect information, interpret it, and share the best advice for finding an effective way forward. This person interprets information and gives valuable insights that could be helpful. This is a form of active communication.

    To determine which communicator you are, ask yourself the following questions:

    • Why did the client hire you for this specific project?
    • Do they just need you to share data and statistics?
    • Do they need you to interpret this data and give your professional opinion on how to move forward?

    An Effective Communication Style

    There’s nothing wrong with filling either role. You will find that the more you work towards up leveling your leadership style, the more you will transition towards being an informative communicator. If a supervisor or client asks you to show more leadership as you communicate, this is the first area you’ll want to adjust. Redefine what it means to add value. Then figure out a way to communicate that value at every opportunity.

    Sharing your opinion and point of view can be intimidating if you’re not used to it. For more information on how to up level your communication style and illustrate how you add value as a leader, make sure to watch my YouTube video that goes deeper into the specifics of stepping into an informative communication style.

    • Has a client or supervisor asked you to improve your communication skills if you want to be taken more seriously?
    • Does this feedback leave you confused about how you show up as a professional?

    In this video we’ll discuss the best way to level up and show your leadership skills simply by making one small change. I talk about the differences between being a transactional (passive) communicator and being an informative (active) communicator.

     

     

    Christina Holloway is an executive coach and business coach. She helps executives and entrepreneurs grow their companies faster, create results-driven teams, and increase profitability. She has been featured in ForbesThe Huffington PostAddicted2Success and Fast Company. If you’re interested in working with Christina, take a look at her strategy sessions and contact her to get started.

  • How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

    How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

    “SettingPhoto credit: Carl Richards

    We all have an imposter syndrome story.

    Here’s my imposter syndrome story.

    Very early in my career, I had been trained on how to manage projects using a Project Management Plan (PMP) model. For years, we used this model to get projects done. It was effective and efficient. Everyone in our department knew how to use this model.

    Years later, I decided to transfer to another department. I wanted to work in Marketing, but when I got there, absolutely no one knew how to run a project. It was chaos. They didn’t track progress; didn’t assign roles and responsibilities; they didn’t know their budgets or how much certain initiatives would cost; and they didn’t recognize milestones or small wins.

    So, I taught them how to do this. I helped them create workplans, allocate resources, estimate costs, track deliverables, and stay on budget.

    It was simple … and I made it look easy.

    What happened?

    I decided to work as a consultant, and they started paying me more and more money to keep showing them how to do this. They asked for my feedback; put me on the biggest marketing campaigns; asked me to reorganize their teams and find better efficiencies. And they made it clear that I had something of value to give them and they were willing to pay plenty of money for me to keep them running smoothly. And this went on for years.

    What did I think?

    – This has to be a joke.
    – They can’t possibly find this valuable.
    – They’ll eventually figure out that anybody can do this.
    – I can’t believe they’re paying me for this.

    Unfortunately, this mindset also went on for years. It was an uncomfortable reality for me. I worked very hard and I had many credible accomplishments. Top executives respected my point of view and asked for my opinion and feedback.

    But I discounted most of it … if it’s easy, then it’s not really work, is it?

    Imposter syndrome is a very real state of mind and if it goes unchecked, it can create much more stress than necessary, especially at work. For some people, they may feel this way temporarily until they get their bearings in a new job or position. For others, this could be a chronic state of mind that will require constant attention and shifts in mindset.

    To learn more about how to overcome feelings of imposter syndrome, read on for five articles on overcoming imposter syndrome, including the different types of imposter syndrome you may experience during any given situation.

    1. Learning to deal with the imposter syndrome.

    Like Carl Richards says, “It’s at the moment when you’re most vulnerable that all your doubts come crashing in around you.” He further explains that what becomes naturally easy for us can lead us to discount its value to the world.This article is a short but powerful essay he wrote for The New York Times that gets to the heart of how to deal with these feelings — invite them in and see what happens.

    2. The five different types of imposter syndrome. 

    This article from The Muse provides a great framework for understanding the different types of imposter syndrome. The framework came from Dr. Valerie Young, who outlines these types in her book. She identifies them as the Perfectionist, the Superwoman/man, the Natural Genius, the Soloist, or the Expert. The article also provides great coaching questions to get you to understand each type and where you may identify with one over the others.

    3. The 10-step process to change IS thinking.

    Did you know there is actually a website called impostersyndrome.com? Valerie Young runs the site. As a writer, speaker, and educator on imposter syndrome, she has some great insight. This article on her blog outlines the 10 steps that she uses with clients to help them out of this mindset. She also shares a link to her TED talk on the same subject.

    4. Five ways to overcome imposter syndrome in the workplace.

    This Business Insider article looks at imposter syndrome from the other perspective. As a leader, what are you observing about your team? This article explores the types of workplace cultures that help foster feelings of imposter syndrome. It also gives examples of behaviors from employees who are struggling, and it gives ideas and solutions for moving a team forward.

    5. How to reduce the negative effects of IS.

    There are some common thoughts and feelings that surface when we’re facing imposter syndrome. This article by Harvard Business Review digs into the internal dialogue that happens, as well as strategies that help limit the impact of these feelings in stressful situations.

    On a final note, imposter syndrome is a very complicated emotional state. For some people, they may feel this way temporarily until they get their bearings in a new job or position. For others, this could be a chronic state of mind that will require constant attention and shifts in mindset.

    If you’ve ever experienced imposter syndrome yourself, drop me a note and let me know how you dealt with it. For me, I needed to acknowledge that different people come with different skills, and I just happened to be able to help a group of people work more efficiently. That is my talent.

    Christina Holloway was recently named the #1 Executive Coach in Chicago by Influence Digest. She is an executive coach and business strategist helping executives and entrepreneurs find success. You can find Christina’s thought leadership in ForbesThe Huffington PostAddicted2Success, and Fast Company. If you’re interested in working with Christina, take a look at her strategy sessions and contact her to get started.

  • Are You Aggressive or Assertive?

    Are You Aggressive or Assertive?

     

    It’s fair to say we’ve all been there. We’re being assertive in a heated conversation, or giving tough feedback, or pushing back on someone who has crossed the line. Then the conversation takes a turns. And then you hear it, “Why are you being so aggressive right now?”

    A statement like this is intended to do two things: 1) cause a distraction and 2) change the subject. For this reason, when someone tells you this, it’s never about you or your behavior. Here’s why:

    • An aggressive person uses name-calling and bully tactics to dominate.
    • An assertive person uses boundaries and mutual respect to engage in conversation or debate.
    • A passive-aggressive person doesn’t know how to express himself or herself and will resort to deflection to relieve an uncomfortable conversation. This statement is 100% passive-aggressive.

    If you struggle with knowing whether your behavior is actually aggressive, I’ve pulled together five articles to help you dig deeper into what it means to be assertive, aggressive or passive-aggressive. Please keep in mind that if you find your behavior is, in fact, aggressive, it’s time to consider better ways to communicate.

    1. Aggressive vs. assertive: the secret behind effective leaders.

    This article from the Center for Management and Organization Effectiveness (CMOE) gives a great breakdown into what it means to be either aggressive or assertive. It also provides a great framework for how to start using an assertive communication model to start communicating in a more effective way. It also goes into what it means to use non-verbal cues to make your point.

    2. Passive vs. aggressive vs. assertive. 

    This article from Better and Betterer gives a great overview of the differences between the three methods of communication. It also provides a link to a more detailed article on passive-aggressive behavior. The reality of the workforce today is that passive-aggressive behavior is prevalent these days. We will continue to learn what’s acceptable behavior these days. It’s worth knowing how to identify passive-aggressive behavior, and how to deal with it.

    3. How to be assertive without losing yourself.

    This article by Harvard Business Review focuses specifically on how to step into the skills of being assertive without losing the elements that make you uniquely you. It also provides commentary from Avivah Wittenberg-Cox, and a link to her book, How Women Mean Business. If this is an area where you struggle (many women do), you might find value in her book.

    4. Three key differences between being assertive and being aggressive.

    Here are two articles by Meet Mindful and Life Made Conscious that provide simple lists of traits that distinguish aggressive and assertive behavior. They also provide great context on what it means to assume an assertive personality. These articles outline the shift to self-care, self-worth, and self-confidence that makes an assertive personality attractive to others.

    5. What to do when someone accuses you of being aggressive.

    Because this topic can go deep, I thought it would be helpful to create a YouTube video to go along with this newsletter. The goal here is to give you some examples of responses you can use if you find yourself in this situation. In this video, I talk about ways to create boundaries around someone who has accused you of being aggressive when it’s clear you are not.

    And, if you’re interested in reading more about what I wrote about dealing with aggression in the workplace, check out my article on whether your colleagues miss you when you’re gone, and this article on bullying in the workplace, and even this article on setting boundaries at work.

    On a final note, I hope you find the video interesting and useful. I’ve been experimenting with new ways to share information on developing a leadership brand. My goal is to create communication toolkits to help you step into your authority without sacrificing what makes you unique.

    If you have any comments or feedback I’d love to know … but, please be kind. I know I’m just getting started here and I’m excited to see how it evolves.

     

     

    Christina Holloway is an executive coach and business coach. She helps executives and entrepreneurs grow their companies faster, create results-driven teams, and increase profitability. She has been featured in ForbesThe Huffington PostAddicted2Success and Fast Company. If you’re interested in working with Christina, take a look at her strategy sessions and contact her to get started.

  • Self-Confidence: Are You Failing or Just Struggling with Success?

    Self-Confidence: Are You Failing or Just Struggling with Success?

    Have you discovered anything new about your confidence over the past few months?

    Since 2020 has been the “perfect storm” for dealing with the unexpected, I thought it would be a great time to review. So far, we’ve been stepping into uncomfortable situations, and having conversations with people we’d really rather avoid. As such, this seems like a good time to explore what it means to tap into a confident mindset.

    A recent conversation with one of my clients focused specifically on listening to her tell me that she perceived herself as critical and self-critical. She couldn’t understand why she had these “flaws” and asked for help to stop thinking this way. In reality, I couldn’t stop wondering why she considered her ability to have high standards such a liability in her professional growth.

    Was she really failing, or was she struggling with understanding that her ability to accept nothing less than professionalism was leading her down a path to future success?

    Here are five articles that deal with the topic of self-confidence.

    1. What is self-confidence?

    This is a great article from Positive Psychology that defines the differences between self-efficacy, self-confidence, and self-esteem. The article goes on to talk about self-esteem education, how it can back-fire, and nine lessons for practicing self-confidence. Hint: part of our confidence comes from our physicality.

    2. 25 killer actions to boost your self-confidence.

    This is a great list from Zen Habits of simple steps to take to shift the way you show up every day. Incorporating even one or two of these actions can lead to a major shift in mindset. That’s what we’re looking for here. Small changes that add up to big shifts.

    3. Preparing yourself for success.

    This article from Mind Tools talks about the what it means to behave in a self-confident way, as opposed to behaving in a way that projects low self-confidence. There’s a wonderful chart in the middle of the article that explains what self sabotaging behavior looks like. This is helpful if you’re wondering if someone around you struggles with low self-esteem. In addition, the article features a quiz that assesses your current level of confidence.

    4. 10 things you can do to boost self-confidence.

    Here’s a great list from Entrepreneur Magazine that includes 10 simple things you can do to boost your self-esteem. What makes this article interesting is that it focuses on understanding emotion. It’s an interesting perspective that plays a large part in how confident you are in specific situations.

    5. Is the confidence gap between men and women a myth?

    I’m including this article from Harvard Business Review because my conversation today was with a woman executive who felt she needed to change her behavior in order to feel like she would be a better leader. She never indicated that someone told her to change, and that’s what makes it interesting. She just believed that her behavior would hold her back. The concluding paragraph makes an important point, “Although no single study can provide a definitive understanding of gender biases at work, our results highlight the importance for organizations to monitor how high performing men and women are perceived — by their peers and especially by their supervisors — and how they progress in their careers.”

    And if you’d like to hear more about my takeaways from my coaching call today, please take a look at my Instagram account. I’m now going to post more video insights from the topics I share with you. If you have any questions or situations you’d like me to address, please feel free to respond and forward them to me. I’d love to cover more topics in the coming weeks.

     

     

    Christina Holloway is an executive coach and business coach. She helps executives and entrepreneurs grow their companies faster, create results-driven teams, and increase profitability. She has been featured in ForbesThe Huffington PostAddicted2Success and Fast Company. If you’re interested in working with Christina, take a look at her strategy sessions and contact her to get started.

Christina Holloway